Standing on stage alone talking about her life in front of an audience is daunting, Patty Klinpibul admits.
But the diminutive Thai emerging playwright also finds it to be cathartic, similar in a way to writing a journal.
The idea to write about her life experiences only came to Klinpibul when she attended a Ōtepoti Theatre Lab Playwrights Programme play reading two years ago. It reignited a love for playwrighting that she had abandoned growing up.
With her father’s work taking his family from their home in Thailand to Malaysia for four years and then Egypt, Klinpibul attended English-speaking international schools which emphasised the arts and introduced playwrighting in primary school.
"I found out early on that I quite enjoyed it."
However, when the family returned to Thailand the options for her schooling were limited. So her parents enrolled her and her brother in an online international school.
"It didn’t involve any theatre at all, and then it became all about academics, and I fell out of love with writing because then it was all about essays and grades. I just couldn’t find the joy in it any more."
At the same time Klinpibul was struggling to fit in to her homeland. While she can speak Thai, she is more fluent in English and can barely read and write in her home language.
"And it was harder — sometimes for me I find that being an obvious outsider, there’s less expectations, like so people don’t expect me to be a Kiwi and to know, but being a Thai person ... They’re confused like, ‘how come you don’t get this joke?’, or you’ve not listened to this song, seen this TV show."
She became quite depressed.
"All of a sudden I felt like I don’t feel I belong anywhere, and I, of course, didn’t feel a sense of community with online school, because it was just me and a computer and people all over the world."
Klinpibul came to New Zealand to pursue foundation studies at the University of Otago in 2017, originally with the aim of going to teachers college. She fell in love with the city but not the exam-based university system.
"It’s a nice contrast because I grew up in capital cities, so it’s nice to come to a place that’s much more peaceful and quiet and less traffic, and you don’t spend so much of your life stuck in a car."
In a quandary about her studies, Klinpibul decided to study food design at Otago Polytechnic, so that she would have a bachelor’s degree to apply for a graduate programme in primary education.
"I guess to please my parents, because my family, we don’t enjoy cooking, and I thought, that’s something good to learn."
Only along the way she came to the realisation that teaching might not be the best fit for her due to the work loads and daily pressures.
This led Klinpibul to pivot and choose to pursue an honours degree in design instead.
"It wasn’t until coming here and even while studying, even though I had amazing teachers. I get too obsessed with grades, so I was still not in the right mindset to write, but it wasn’t until I landed a day job, and I felt comfortable enough with my routine, and supportive with the community around me that gave me the headspace to actually sit down and revisit some childhood hobbies, like playwrighting and performing.
"I still get to work in a field that I’m passionate about, but it’s not a taxing role where I need to take homework home with me."
So when applications opened for 2023’s Ōtepoti Theatre Lab Playwrights Programme, Klinpibul decided to apply.
"I hadn’t been writing plays for a long time. I thought, ‘OK, that itself is challenging’. I wanted to write something that I was familiar with, and as they say, ‘write what you know’, and I thought, I can write about my own life."
Klinpibul identifies as "a third culture kid" — someone who grew up abroad during their developmental years mostly due to their parents’ work commitments and who has few ties with their birth culture.
"Third culture is the culture of those who have shared this life experience of having an internationally mobile lifestyle, and the term ‘third culture kid’ falls under the wider umbrella of the term cross-cultural kid, which are those who spent a significant portion of their developmental years interacting with multiple cultures, whether immigrants, or people coming from families with more than one nationality."
She often finds herself nervous around Thai people and when she visits home becomes more introverted and quiet.
"I like going home to visit my parents, but it’s quite hard to transition back when I’m constantly on high alert of not really fitting in. And I feel more comfortable here and can engage in my hobbies, whereas in Thailand, I’m more in survival mode, — and, nothing against the country itself, it’s just me not feeling like I fit in."
Klinpibul tied those experiences into a story she has called Patty with a WhY.
Her first attempt was accepted for the theatre lab and with the help of dramaturg Emily Duncan, Klinpibul set about developing her concept into a 10-15 minute semi-autobiographical monologue, which had its first reading last year.
"Emily’s been helping to show me how I can make the piece more concise and flow better."
Duncan says the role of dramaturg is an honour, but especially so when the work is autobiographical.
"The playwright is entrusting you to not only mentor them in writing a script but also navigate how they will share elements of their personal story in a theatrical setting. Much of this project has been centred around that conversation."
Klinpibul hopes people will laugh at times and get emotional at others.
"So there are funny bits where I kind of joke about instances where there are two meanings, one meaning in one language and another meaning in another, but I’ve also touched upon my own mental health struggles and my journey, and that part is perhaps more sad and serious."
She has found the whole experience to be quite therapeutic.
"In a way I’m writing about being healed, and it’s the process of writing and performing itself that is helping to heal my mind."
While to many the prospect of taking to the stage alone is daunting, Klinpibul sees it as less so than teaching where she would be "performing everyday".
The only thing on stage with her will be paper-cut puppets inspired by Thai shadow puppets in the form of Thai fruits that will be displayed in baskets on stage.
Performing Patty with a WhY is both exciting and nerve-racking for her.
"As a performer it feels good when people laugh at what you’ve written, as I’m hoping to be funny as well, but a part of me also has to, I guess, block some of it out too, because if I’m so reliant on how the audience reacts, and if they don’t respond the way I want them to, I can’t really let that affect me."
She also plans to take the play to the Auckland Fringe Festival next month, fearing that she might not get to perform in next year’s Dunedin Fringe Festival as she is waiting on news regarding her visa.
"I might as well take on the challenge and go for it, but I’m glad that I will be performing in Dunedin first, in front of more people that I know."
For Duncan, seeing Klinpibul take her work to the stage is exactly the outcome the theatre lab had hoped for, but it is also bittersweet as the lab’s programme closed this year.
"Patty has taken remarkable initiative to not only further develop the script but also produce the work in a particularly challenging performing arts landscape."
TO SEE:
Patty With A WhY, New Athenaeum Theatre on Saturday, August 31 at 6pm, and Sunday, September 1 at 2pm.
